Like in the movies...

It's ironic.Life is ironic lately. You know the situation where he is double crossing the girlfriend only once and immediately she knows?That doesn't happen in real life. In real life,guys can have two distinct wives,kids and houses without the two realities crossing paths.It's said that girls just know when the are being lied to. It's true,you get a weird vibe from your other half. That's when bells start ringing in your ear like an alarm. Or it should.But sometimes love makes you stupid. Guys aren't like that. Or if they are,they prefer to not know for certain the truth. Girls with a bit of smarts can have the same "cheating privileges" as guys. Actually we can outsmart them if we use our mind to think rather than with our heart,like we usually do.Men fake relationships,love and sometimes a whole life.Women just fake an orgasm,a pregnancy,and yes,also a relationship.

I've changed. I've changed so much,but I still have that ounce of humanity not to fake.I just don't care to get romantically involved.Apparently guys love that.I guess there is a bit of masochism in everyone. This past few months taught me that when I am down in the gutter,the only friend who will truly be able to help me is..me. So I feel like I time traveled in the past,before I was 18,back to square one. The only difference now is that I know that I can pick myself up from almost any situation.And I don't believe in people anymore. I don't hope for that big break. I've seen how people of the same age are in general,and I don't think that natural selfishness will go softer over the years in them. If people help you at one point,they will expect eternal gratitude or poke your eyes out with their help. And honestly, I would rather skip that if possible.

Soon I'll start a new chapter in my life. Unfortunately, I know in the beginning I won't be able to make it on my on financially,but that only gives me more reason to double my efforts for independence. After all the disappointment I had with people,I don't care that much anymore about what whoever thinks of me. I just go with the flow.I try living as the saying :"Dream like you will never die,live like there's no tomorrow".
So I've made my choice. Now I'll have to live with it,accept it and move on.I'm dreaming of the time with no more drama in my life. It has been so much lately,it's getting ridiculous.

Iasi,here I come!